by the Athens Solidarity Center of SolidarityNow

“I am old enough to have perhaps already reconciled with some truths and facts of life. But the reality for me is different. My inner battle became unbearable, and I decided that I could no longer be a stranger to my people. A friend of mine suggested that I should visit the Solidarity Center of SolidarityNow in Athens. I thought it was only for people from abroad. But it is for everyone, and the truth is I felt that from the first moment I met my later psychologist.”

At 45, Giannis introduces himself as “quite old”, “gay”, “a good son”, and “a distressed worker”. But we are never “old or young enough”, or anything else to ask for help from the right people.

And Giannis got the appropriate support which brought immediate results.

“I came out to my brother. I told him I’m gay. And when I went back home, I felt lighter. It was a strange feeling because I didn’t know how to manage it, it was as if I felt bad about feeling good, I don’t know how to explain it. Of course, this was quickly replaced by the feeling of standing on my own feet more firmly.”

I grew up in Athens. A nice child of a good family; nothing was missing from our home. We were not rich, but we were rich because we never lack love. I had a very loving relationship with both my father and mother. None of them are here anymore.

Also, I always had a good relationship with my half-siblings, my brother and sister, since our mother always took care of that. And generally, my mother always took care of everything.

As I grew up, I was never denied anything. I was never deprived either, but it took me a long time to realize that many things in my nurture, painless, invisible, literally and metaphorically, defined me in terms of my beliefs, opinions, and attitude. It was time for me to figure it all out one by one as the years went by, after realizing and admitting that I am gay.

I’m a nice person; my friends call me ‘the life and soul of the party’. But sometimes they tell me that so much energy and joy might hide something opposite; melancholy. Eventually, I think they are right, and I now know that a big part of it is directly related to my need for acceptance. Because even though some of my people know exactly who I am, I have spent most of the years hiding it from everyone else, even (or even especially!) from my family environment.

I thought it wasn’t necessary. I resigned myself to the attitude of my partners who were hiding too much. And sometimes I got stuck with a shame that I didn’t have on my own, but rather deep inside I accepted it as normal.

I never got to tell my mother I was gay. Instead, I managed to burden myself with guilt that by not living the way she would have wanted, I might have contributed to her illness and ultimately her death.

It was all weighing on me. And above all, one more guilt and shame weighed more heavily – the one that told me that you now live more freely, after your mother’s death. I couldn’t accept it. As if I were denying my adoration for her.

Now things are getting clearer.

My life has moved on. I live in the same house as my partner, I speak more comfortably about who I am, and I am also escorted to all social events. And I like it.

I see my psychologist often and sometimes I am happy as a child who goes to tell her about his accomplishments. Today I spoke to my brother! I get bravo, I get acceptance”, concludes Giannis with a smile.

He also faces his financial hardship in a different way. He feels more optimistic, more powerful about how to deal with what is coming: “I’ve been working non-stop since I was 19. I’ll always find jobs, I know, because I never expected things to come without effort.

And finally, I find that when I started being honest to and for myself, expressing my needs and desires with certainty, I asked, and I got. I asked for acceptance and love, and I got it. No one rejected me because I’m gay.

Maybe I rejected myself for so long – and that was visible. Now I am visible, it is me as this multidimensional person that I am, because nobody is just gay, just one or the other (he laughs). We are 150,000 different things that make people love us.

“You know,” he says, “I would like you to write this… that maybe we need to widen our embrace to include everyone and especially all those who feel different and for some reason feel bad about it.”

* Since August 2022, the Athens Solidarity Center is financed by EEA Grants, with ΣΟΛ Crowe and HumanRights360 as the fund operator.

**From 1/7/2021 till 30/6/2023, Kahane Foundation supports the Psychosocial service of the Athens Solidarity Center.

***The Center is also supported by the Municipality of Athens.

by the Athens Solidarity Center of SolidarityNow

Dimitris has every reason to be proud of himself. Not only today, April 8th, that along with the rest Roma people, he celebrates their international day, but because with his everyday actions for a long time, Dimitris overcomes stereotypes, either the ones derived from his origin or the ones caused by choices and experiences that left him weak, illegal, and trapped for a significant period of his adult life.

By the time he reached 29, Dimitris had lived many lives, as he says he feels.

“I was born and raised in Pyrgos. My mom is Greek, and my dad was Roma. He died in prison, regretful. I have two brothers and four sisters, all married. I don’t remember ever feeling comfortable anywhere, to say this is my place, my people, to feel safe. I remember going to school for a very short time. At first, I attended school and after a while, they created a class only with Roma children, and it was basically as if they forgot about us. I remember touching a kid from another class and I saw him panicking; then he said that he must wash his shirt now. Back then I couldn´t understand why.”

While growing up, Dimitris began to understand. The school forgot about him and so did he, until he dropped out and never learned to read and write. He then followed a path like the one of his father’s. Unlawfulness and drugs were in Dimitri’s life by the age of 14. He became the child doing illegal business for adults and finally he was led to prison. Prison sounds so terrible when said by such a smiley young man, but Dimitris has a different opinion.

“Prison was my chance to escape. I had been in the prisons of Nafplio, Larissa, and Patras and finally I arrived at Eleonas in Athens. During my imprisoned years, I entered the drug rehabilitation program, and I got well. Through this ‘journey’, I met my people. The program’s social workers who supported me very much, my fellow inmates with whom we managed to heal together. Thus, I decided to never go back – neither to my parental home, nor to see my mother, nor to drugs, nor to anything I had lived before. I know that if I go to see my mother it’s going to be a setback, I’m going to get in trouble. I just talk to her on the phone. After all, we don’t have much to say, mom can’t understand that I’m changing my life, she only understands that she misses me, but that’s not enough anymore.

In the program, I learned to speak. At first, I didn’t say anything to Eleonas, but finally, I spoke to a group! It was awesome for me, it did me so good and the more I talked the more I couldn’t stop. My therapists helped me a lot.

I insisted and I still do because I will succeed, and I will make my life better. I also go to classes organized by an NGO, and I learn to read and write. I’m already writing my name!

The life I have now is already better.”

While he was in the rehabilitation program, Dimitris was informed about the Athens Solidarity Center (ASC) of SolidarityNow and the operation of the Social and Employability Services. The next goal was to find a job. After a few meetings with the employment consultant, Dimitris got his first job. For the employment consultant, Dimitris was already a winner, because he was consistent, reliable and optimistic despite his constant struggle not to be afraid and to believe in himself.

“I thought the Centre was only for migrants, but I was wrong and now I am happy to come. They help me a lot. The first job I found was good. Of course, sometimes I heard comments about my origin, but I heard good things as well. I often feel that while I am trying to escape from the old life, others treat me in a way, a reserve, as if they anticipate my fate. I sometimes feel more condemned than when I was in prison.

The first job finished and the advisor from the Center supported me, so I got a second one. I had a schedule. Work, classes- twice a week-, taking care of the hostel I lived in with my two roommates.”

Dimitris completed the rehabilitation program and served his sentence. The extension he had received for staying at the hostel also passed and things did not turn out smoothly. He suddenly lost his job because as he finally realized, his employer could not keep a Roma in his job.

“I generally feel that making my life better is a cruel and lonely road. And I know that other Roma people feel the same – it’s like everyone is certain that we will fail and sometimes I wonder why I should try. But I’m not giving up.”

He was unemployed and homeless.

He immediately went back to the Athens Solidarity Center. He was registered in the Social service as a homeless person and after a series of medical tests which he carried out without wasting a minute, a hostel was found to accommodate him.

Dimitris is trying very hard. You see it in his eyes, you hear it in his voice. He does whatever it takes to move forward.

“I’m in the hostel now. And at the Center, everyone tried to help me. We made my resume and a few days ago I got picked up from a job and I already started. I hope everything goes well. I will collect money little by little to get a home and I will be good at my job. I’m going to keep learning to write and read because there’s no other way, I see everyone texting with their phones, and I want it too. Now I only speak with verbal messages.

And after I learn to read and write, maybe I will find a girl to love and have a family.

I am a Roma, yes, but I’m also a man. My friends in the program were all Greek. We looked alike, we had been through a lot, regardless of where we came from. That’s all I want to say. I make mistakes, but I also have dreams like everyone else. I hope I never forget that and never look at any of my fellow humans with that look; that look that makes me want to disappear when I feel it on me”.

* Since August 2022, the Athens Solidarity Center is financed by EEA Grants, with ΣΟΛ Crowe and HumanRights360 as the fund operator.

**The Center is also supported by the Municipality of Athens.

by the Athens Solidarity Center of SolidarityNow

The 48-year-old S.K. visited the Athens Solidarity Center (ASC) of SolidarityNow one year ago requesting psychosocial support. S. was in a bad psychological condition, angry and frustrated, as he could not have access to the services he needed so as to deal with his serious health problems. A Greek man who faced a bureaucracy that made it impossible for him to claim his rights.

With the coordinated efforts by the Center’s Social Service, S. was able to overcome bureaucratic obstacles and receive the disability allowance he is entitled, which created a new reality for him that empowered him both financially and psychologically. 

Thus, a trust relationship was established between S. and the Center’s professionals, and today he continues to receive social, and psychological support, while he also consults the Legal and Accounting Services on various issues.

Mr. S.’s remarkable progress in a very short period fills us with optimism and is an excellent example of how effective the collaboration among the different services that work complementary within the Center is.

* Since August 2022, the Athens Solidarity Center is financed by EEA Grants, with ΣΟΛ Crowe and HumanRights360 as the fund operator.

**From 1/7/2021 till 30/6/2023, Kahane Foundation supports the Psychosocial service of the Athens Solidarity Center.

***The Center is also supported by the Municipality of Athens.